Thursday, July 26, 2012

on producing fruit

 something is growing, and we are pretty sure they are limes. the thing about growth though, is that you never really know what is growing until you cut into it and taste it. these appear as limes and so we are assuming our lime tree is producing fruit. 

matt has been fasting for 11 days now. it started with a week long water cleanse. for seven days he only drank water with fresh lemon juice and grade b maple syrup. most of the time he was in a kind of brain haze. delirious from lack of food. i drove him around fearing that he would blank out while he was driving. let's just say he was cleansed after a week. after that he and his friend moved on to something called the daniel fast. he has been doing that for 5 days now. i have been cooking a more intense version of a vegan diet for him. vegetables, fruits, oils, whole grains...NO sweeteners of any kind, leavening agents and no meat or dairy products.  

whenever a person commits themselves to seeking a closer experience with God i think the attacks come on 100 fold. and that has been happening for him. he is discouraged about the school year, he is tired and exhausted from no vacation, he doesn't see the effects of teaching and he is wondering what the point of investing in kids who seem to not care is, he got some bad news about a student he really cares deeply for, he feels trapped by our debt, he feels alone, he thinks that he has to do it all by himself, his brain is deceiving him into believing lies; he is being tricked. the enemy is going to town on my love. and all i can do is stand back and pray, and wait, and hope, and speak truth and love to him, and remind him that his mind is cloudy, that the goal of a fast is to focus on God not all of the distractions that will come. it has been tough. 

he is looking for answers, i think. he is testing his fruit. he wants to know if he is on the right path. 
he is being attacked, he is hungry, he is foggy in the brain, and he is distracted, but he is seeking. 
he wants to know. 
he is learning what kind of tree he is. 

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