Monday, January 25, 2010

a plan for the day

"mommy, first i want to put on my blended pants, then my belt, then my sword and then a really cool shirt. i laid in bed this morning and thought about it." --micah (age 4 1/2)

pigtails and long eyelashes

her's will just keep getting longer and i hope the other one's stays the same length...


our wonderful friend amy came to west palm to visit her family last week. we got to know her while we were living in toronto and found out that she was from west palm beach after we moved here 4 years ago. (never ceases to amaze me what a small world we live in...) anyway, she came over last week tuesday night for dinner and after i got beatrix to bed micah wanted to study with amy. what does study mean to a 4 year old? well exactly what daddy does. "you underline all of the words in the book so that you can learn to read" --micah.

sunny days outside

it was nice to feel the sun again after all of the chilly days we had in a row.

3 aunts and uncles

two fridays ago we met 3 of my aunts and uncles in ft. lauderdale for dinner. they had been in the keys on vaccation all week and were leaving for iowa the next day. i picked matt up after work and when we finally made it through the terrible traffic we ended up having dinner with family! i have been longing for family and it was just what i needed. it was fun visiting with them over dinner and than going back to their hotel room to bathe the kids and hear fun stories about their week in florida. (the coldest week we have had all year mind you!) anyway, micah had so much fun with aunt becky. he was so sad when we left that he waved at them until we got onto the highway. it was wonderful seeing you all! thanks for dinner and for the visit.

Early Christmas morning, a good Scotch and a few thoughts

It’s early Christmas morning, and I can’t sleep. Of all the days in the year, this is the one that has not changed its affect upon me – whether I’m seven or thirty-four, doesn’t matter - there is something about this day.

I am spiraling in thought...

I have a wife and three children. My wife has written many chapters in the annuls of our family story, from travel and adventure, to tragedy and aporia. We have loved and fought each other for over ten years. Life without her would be unthinkable. My first born son is with God, along- side my deepest reflections. My second son is four and a half, and loves to issue rebuttals for any piece of information that did not originate from himself – his smile slays me. My daughter has bewitched me. She is a little more than a year old, yet humbles me with six months of screaming through the night, followed by a tiny hug.

It’s 2:30 Christmas morning, and yes I am awake. Now, I am the father placing the gifts under the tree, checking the house once and then twice over, after hearing bumps in the night.

A wonder if God is pleased with me? How could he be? I am not a good man. Then again, this morning is one that marks the beginning of an impossible reconciliation between humanity and God. All is silent in my house tonight, however, I believe there are detectable traces of exalting vibrations, ripping through time, first voiced by the angels of old, harmonizing with the universe “Glory to the new born king”. And grateful men and women reply "Truly-Truly"..."Amen and Amen".

i wanted to publish this even though it was written a while ago. matt is such an eloquent writer....i love him!

Friday, January 15, 2010


my mind is realing with thoughts of haiti today.

i couldn't stop dreaming about their torn apart country and the many torn apart lives. the children on the side of the road wondering why their parents haven't come to get them. the parents who are combing the city trying to find their children. the tears. the screams when another body is pulled from the rubble and it is identified as family, cried over and sent away to be disposed of quickly so infection and disease do not add to the problems. i hear the sounds. those awful mourning sounds. i know what those sound like and to imagine them in the tens of thousands makes me want to crawl back into bed and cry.

haiti, such a poor country. a country that relies on other countries for medical care and now they are facing one of the biggest medical crisis of the century. the millions of lives that have been transformed by the movement of plates is incomprehensable. i want to DO something. sure we will give money, but at times like this i want to get off of my comfortable white butt and really do something. is there a child that needs a home now? what are we called to do in times like this? where would Jesus be in the midst of this tragedy? i send up prayers but the problem seems even too large for mere prayers. how does one rebuild a city the size of the state i was born in? how is this even possible?

i sit on a comfortable chair, typing at a computer, listening to the sounds of seseme street, the clinking of a spoon on a bowl as micah eats his cereal, beatrix is asleep in her warm bed. i can't even ask why. that seems ridiculous. it just happens. the truth is things like this happen all over our world everyday. i think this one is hitting home to me because it is close. we in america are all about proximity aren't we? if it is close enough to effect us than we care.

i am tired. there is too much hurt sometimes. there are good and beautiful things here too, but sometimes, every once in awhile, the saddness threatens to close in around me and i cry out to Him. no more death, no more disease, no more lonliness. the promises of God's kingdom. hope. hope seems so small at times such as these. i have questions, but my questions can wait for now. i just want to help. i just want to take the cries, the screaming, the tears and help.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

an annual tradition

The weekend after Christmas has become our weekend to go to Orlando and visit Matt's grandparents. It was a beautiful 3 hour drive north.
A special and rare treat! Fall colors....
in December.
Bea fell asleep quickly surrounded by her special blankets and her luvy bear.
Micah stayed busy playing and coloring on his new coloring pad with "magic" markers. Thank you grandma and grandpa!
What every little boy does at grandma and grandpa's; looks for alligators in the pond with binoculars.
Having breakfest...wonder how many times in their life they have sat here in this exact spot? It was wonderful being with family for awhile. And they were extatic to have us there so soon after Christmas.
This little one waited and waited to be able to go fishing!
This one would have jumped right off of this bridge if we would have let her!
We tried several places, to no avail.
After we left their house we traveled an hour to Sea World. Just so happens it was the busiest day of the year and the coldest! (it has been much much colder since that day, but at the time we were freezing!) We didn't stay long at the park, but we did catch the Shamu show again and we made sure to pet the rays. Which are Micah's two favorite things to do.
This one could be doing anything as long as she can chew on my chapstick.
It's the simple things!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Christmas Morning

Our tree decorated half way up...for obvious reasons!

Micah's animals he received in his stocking.
Bea's treasures.

Thanks grandma and grandpa for our new hats!
Micah's treasured present, a dinosaur floor puzzle from auntie dajana and uncle peter. he loves it, thank you!I got Matt a jean jacket this year.
Which he is covering with patches....sigh
My gift from Matt this year was books. One on organic gardening, a whole foods cookbook and one on raising chickens in my back yard.
I am looking to become a farmer in the city!
The aftermath! Thank you so much for making our Christmas sooo special and fun!

if i believed...

we took micah and beatrix to see santa this year for the first time. if there was ever a man who looked like santa it would be this one. i stood there in front of him, holding bea. micah was hiding behind me and all i could say was "hello santa!" my voice sounded strangely young even to my own ears. i was star struck. he looked so real. my kids were terrified and micah started to kind of freak out. Santa looked at me and i expected a kind and loving reaction to their fears. instead he said to me, "just put them on my lap as fast as you can!" dashing all of my hopes and dreams that he truly was kris kringle. in fact he was just a very tired old man who i am sure makes all of his money for the whole year in about two weeks. i was devestated, but at least he asked micah what he wanted for christmas.

we'll take what we can get

i know this was awhile ago, but it was the only snow that we will see this year. we have a huge outdoor mall in down town west palm and all through the holiday season they had snow machines pouring out a manufactured concoction of white stuff. (i believe it was some kind of soap!) however, it was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes instantly. i was quite "home" sick this year for the first time since moving to south florida. that was of course before the low low temps of the last two weeks. i am quickly realizing that i may not have the blood for cold temps any longer! though the idea of a fireplace and hot cocoa (both of which we have none) would help matters considerably. hope you enjoy our "winter" pics!