Monday, January 17, 2011

so long crib

dear beatrix,
this is just the begining and mommy knows it. we got back from our trip to michigan and i knew the time was right for you to move out of your crib and into the bottom bunk bed. well, my head knew that it was time. my heart on the other hand was screaming, "no! not yet!" i am finding over and over again that you are ready for many things that i am not. i guess it is the fact that you are probably our last baby and that being the case it is hard to let you move from phase to phase. as i was taking the crib down for maybe the last time, i couldn't help picturing you and micah as babies. we brought you home from the hospital to that little bed, a bed that your daddy worked so hard on refinishing when we lived in canada. a bed that sat empty for awhile and when many months later we brought micah home and laid him in it for the first time i am pretty sure that crib cried too. though neither of you slept in it at the beginning it sat there waiting for you to enjoy it. eventually you both grew to love that safe little space. i enjoyed watching you make it yours by bringing to bed a different stuffed animal every night. sometimes it would be one of the frog puzzle pieces, or whatever you had played with in the bath tub that night. the past few months i would hear you stirring in there, sometimes calling out mama and i would come in and say good morning sweetheart and you would stand, grab lovey bear and lift your little arms out to me to pick you up out of there. sigh... as i said my heart is not ready for this change, but you my little one are. i don't want to hold you back and so we packed the crib away.
i love you,

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