3 aunts and uncles

two fridays ago we met 3 of my aunts and uncles in ft. lauderdale for dinner. they had been in the keys on vaccation all week and were leaving for iowa the next day. i picked matt up after work and when we finally made it through the terrible traffic we ended up having dinner with family! i have been longing for family and it was just what i needed. it was fun visiting with them over dinner and than going back to their hotel room to bathe the kids and hear fun stories about their week in florida. (the coldest week we have had all year mind you!) anyway, micah had so much fun with aunt becky. he was so sad when we left that he waved at them until we got onto the highway. it was wonderful seeing you all! thanks for dinner and for the visit.

Early Christmas morning, a good Scotch and a few thoughts

Friday, December 25, 2009 at 2:50am

It’s early Christmas morning, and I can’t sleep. Of all the days in the year, this is the one that has not changed its affect upon me – whether I’m seven or thirty-four, doesn’t matter - there is something about this day.

I am spiraling in thought...

I have a wife and three children. My wife has written many chapters in the annuls of our family story, from travel and adventure, to tragedy and aporia. We have loved and fought each other for over ten years. Life without her would be unthinkable. My first born son is with God, along- side my deepest reflections. My second son is four and a half, and loves to issue rebuttals for any piece of information that did not originate from himself – his smile slays me. My daughter has bewitched me. She is a little more than a year old, yet humbles me with six months of screaming through the night, followed by a tiny hug.

It’s 2:30 Christmas morning, and yes I am awake. Now, I am the father placing the gifts under the tree, checking the house once and then twice over, after hearing bumps in the night.

A wonder if God is pleased with me? How could he be? I am not a good man. Then again, this morning is one that marks the beginning of an impossible reconciliation between humanity and God. All is silent in my house tonight, however, I believe there are detectable traces of exalting vibrations, ripping through time, first voiced by the angels of old, harmonizing with the universe “Glory to the new born king”. And grateful men and women reply "Truly-Truly"..."Amen and Amen".

i wanted to publish this even though it was written a while ago. matt is such an eloquent writer....i love him!

haiti

my mind is realing with thoughts of haiti today.

i couldn't stop dreaming about their torn apart country and the many torn apart lives. the children on the side of the road wondering why their parents haven't come to get them. the parents who are combing the city trying to find their children. the tears. the screams when another body is pulled from the rubble and it is identified as family, cried over and sent away to be disposed of quickly so infection and disease do not add to the problems. i hear the sounds. those awful mourning sounds. i know what those sound like and to imagine them in the tens of thousands makes me want to crawl back into bed and cry.

haiti, such a poor country. a country that relies on other countries for medical care and now they are facing one of the biggest medical crisis of the century. the millions of lives that have been transformed by the movement of plates is incomprehensable. i want to DO something. sure we will give money, but at times like this i want to get off of my comfortable white butt and really do something. is there a child that needs a home now? what are we called to do in times like this? where would Jesus be in the midst of this tragedy? i send up prayers but the problem seems even too large for mere prayers. how does one rebuild a city the size of the state i was born in? how is this even possible?

i sit on a comfortable chair, typing at a computer, listening to the sounds of seseme street, the clinking of a spoon on a bowl as micah eats his cereal, beatrix is asleep in her warm bed. i can't even ask why. that seems ridiculous. it just happens. the truth is things like this happen all over our world everyday. i think this one is hitting home to me because it is close. we in america are all about proximity aren't we? if it is close enough to effect us than we care.

i am tired. there is too much hurt sometimes. there are good and beautiful things here too, but sometimes, every once in awhile, the saddness threatens to close in around me and i cry out to Him. no more death, no more disease, no more lonliness. the promises of God's kingdom. hope. hope seems so small at times such as these. i have questions, but my questions can wait for now. i just want to help. i just want to take the cries, the screaming, the tears and help.

an annual tradition

The weekend after Christmas has become our weekend to go to Orlando and visit Matt's grandparents. It was a beautiful 3 hour drive north.

A special and rare treat! Fall colors....

in December.
Bea fell asleep quickly surrounded by her special blankets and her luvy bear.

Micah stayed busy playing and coloring on his new coloring pad with "magic" markers. Thank you grandma and grandpa!

What every little boy does at grandma and grandpa's; looks for alligators in the pond with binoculars.

Having breakfest...wonder how many times in their life they have sat here in this exact spot? It was wonderful being with family for awhile. And they were extatic to have us there so soon after Christmas.

This little one waited and waited to be able to go fishing!

This one would have jumped right off of this bridge if we would have let her!

We tried several places, to no avail.

After we left their house we traveled an hour to Sea World. Just so happens it was the busiest day of the year and the coldest! (it has been much much colder since that day, but at the time we were freezing!) We didn't stay long at the park, but we did catch the Shamu show again and we made sure to pet the rays. Which are Micah's two favorite things to do.

This one could be doing anything as long as she can chew on my chapstick.

It's the simple things!

Christmas Morning

Our tree decorated half way up...for obvious reasons!

Micah's animals he received in his stocking.

Bea's treasures.

Thanks grandma and grandpa for our new hats!
Micah's treasured present, a dinosaur floor puzzle from auntie dajana and uncle peter. he loves it, thank you!I got Matt a jean jacket this year.

Which he is covering with patches....sigh

My gift from Matt this year was books. One on organic gardening, a whole foods cookbook and one on raising chickens in my back yard.

I am looking to become a farmer in the city!

The aftermath! Thank you so much for making our Christmas sooo special and fun!

if i believed...

we took micah and beatrix to see santa this year for the first time. if there was ever a man who looked like santa it would be this one. i stood there in front of him, holding bea. micah was hiding behind me and all i could say was "hello santa!" my voice sounded strangely young even to my own ears. i was star struck. he looked so real. my kids were terrified and micah started to kind of freak out. Santa looked at me and i expected a kind and loving reaction to their fears. instead he said to me, "just put them on my lap as fast as you can!" dashing all of my hopes and dreams that he truly was kris kringle. in fact he was just a very tired old man who i am sure makes all of his money for the whole year in about two weeks. i was devestated, but at least he asked micah what he wanted for christmas.

we'll take what we can get

i know this was awhile ago, but it was the only snow that we will see this year. we have a huge outdoor mall in down town west palm and all through the holiday season they had snow machines pouring out a manufactured concoction of white stuff. (i believe it was some kind of soap!) however, it was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes instantly. i was quite "home" sick this year for the first time since moving to south florida. that was of course before the low low temps of the last two weeks. i am quickly realizing that i may not have the blood for cold temps any longer! though the idea of a fireplace and hot cocoa (both of which we have none) would help matters considerably. hope you enjoy our "winter" pics!

puddle

they melt me...

piggy tails

bea's hair is getting LONG!

i have been waiting for this day and it finally came.

the day for piggy tails.

christmas wonder

Matt above, 1976...

Beatrix below, 2009
see any similarities?
i love this time of year....
full of wonder, full of grace, full of beauty

now that's the way to celebrate

Can you feel his excitement??

The fam, getting ready for a night of hockey!

We were in row 22 section 133! Amazing seats!!!

This is how Micah spent the first period.

I love the blur of the skaters. Beautiful!

Micah can make a friend anywhere. He ended up sitting next to this little boy in front of us. They were yelling at the hockey players and having a grand old time. It was both of their first time at a game.

Daddy at a hockey game.

The leafs won! Which made Matt's night complete.

Walking down to take a close look at the ice after the game was over.

Matt's birthday fell on a Sunday this year though we spent Friday celebrating it. I was able to get him hockey tickets to see the Florida Panthers play the Toronto Maple Leafs. The Leafs have been Matt's favorite team since he was a little boy living in Detroit. This was only his third time seeing them in person. I asked him if he wanted me to get a babysitter and the answer was "nope, I want to go as a family."
And so we did. And what fun we had! The kids were amazing!! Micah was in utter awe when we walked into the arena. The face he made was priceless. Bea just sat on my lap the whole first period taking it all in. It was a wonderful night together sharing an amazing memory.
Happy Birthday my love!
So glad we were able to experience it all together!

one

Beatrix has been one for a month now and as evidenced by my lack of blogging about her birthday, time has flown. My baby is one! I feel like the last year has flown by in a constant state of delirium. She started walking at 11 months and talking soon after. She has such a beautiful personality and it has been wonderful watching how she has blended right in with our family. Her smile is magnetic and her laugh is like a hearing a million little tinkerbells. Micah is amazing with her. I call him second mother.

How does it happen?? A year ago she wasn't even here and now I can't imagine her not being a part of our family. I have to admit that I found the baby stage much more difficult with a toddler around, but looking back on this last year I realize that there really wouldn't have been any other time to spend with just her. Those late night feedings and rockings are what bonded us. It made me fall in love with her. The stillness of the house and the only sound being her breathing slowly as she drifted off to sleep. I pray I never forget those times...

Beatrix was a surprise! A girl when we were expecting a boy. She is just what this family needed. A femine Matt! I know it and I knew it from the time she was 3 months. She is determined, stubborn, and has a bit of the Harrison temper. But she is giving, and loving and silly and soft.

Thank you Lord for our treasure wrapped in the image of Beatrix Sparrow. A little bird baby that has brought nothing but songs to our family! Thank you for her life and watch over her as we attempt to raise this little one, mindful of You.