if i believed...

we took micah and beatrix to see santa this year for the first time. if there was ever a man who looked like santa it would be this one. i stood there in front of him, holding bea. micah was hiding behind me and all i could say was "hello santa!" my voice sounded strangely young even to my own ears. i was star struck. he looked so real. my kids were terrified and micah started to kind of freak out. Santa looked at me and i expected a kind and loving reaction to their fears. instead he said to me, "just put them on my lap as fast as you can!" dashing all of my hopes and dreams that he truly was kris kringle. in fact he was just a very tired old man who i am sure makes all of his money for the whole year in about two weeks. i was devestated, but at least he asked micah what he wanted for christmas.